SAA: Strava Addicts Anonymous

TrailRunIf you’re not on Strava, you have to get on Strava. I mean, really. It’s the best-worst thing for that type-A, OCD disorder you probably already have if you’re addicted to running. But it comes with a warning: You will get addicted.

Lucky for you, here at Runners’ Retreat we not only help diagnose your biomechanical issues, we can also diagnose your Strava addiction – not from any personal experience (cough). Just for you we’ve compiled the following tell-tale signs you’re addicted.

  • You stalk runners all week then upload Sunday at 11PM – HA you scored the most mileage! (Bennett)
  • You don’t hesitate to flag people who you know didn’t run that hill at a 3:30 pace ’cause you’re a Strava-Nazi (Karly)
  • You refresh Strava multiple times every hour – possibly more than you refresh Twitter (Mark)
  • You yell at your dog when he has to stop to poop when you’re running a segment (Mark)
  • You spend your whole run thinking of a clever name for your run (Everyone)
  • You give kudos to those runners you secretly envy because they complete a work out 10 days after running a marathon (Courtney)
  • You dread cross training and rest days because, dang it, someone else ran and beat your mileage (Courtney)
  • You compete against runners in Iran, New Zealand, and Australia for the top monthly mileage when you’ve already logged 100+ miles (Chuck)
  • You get pissed when elite runners clock a 6:00/mile pace and mark it as an easy run (Karly)
  • You use your routes to write messages or make fancy paperclip patterns (Bennett)
  • You gripe about cross training because you can’t log swimming and rowing (Courtney)

But don’t worry! Chuck says there’s a cure: “Psychiatrist. Crack. Death.”

Well, folks, there you have it. Get a Garmin watch. Get on Strava. Get addicted. Get a support group. In other words, come to the store: We’re starting weekly Strava Addicts Anonymous meetings in January.

To launch your Strava addiction, click here:

Strava-logo

– Courtney